I
suddenly thought that if I erected a brand-new beautiful Christmas tree, that I
would somehow feel cozy and settled. Turns out, it did not work. It failed in
much the same way when it came to Easter, Independence Day, Memorial Day, and
Labor Day. Holiday feelings and traditions missed the roll call this year and
they appear to be absent. Am I the only person who feels the lights went out on
the Christmas tree? The fireworks in July did not emit the same sparkle? The
pool days of summer felt shallow? But you see, the holiday decorations and
rituals are not what settle us, our attitudes do. Along with many others, I
have complained about not being able to do the things I desire. Things that I
took for granted. I have not had a date with my girlfriends in months. I have
not spent time with many of my family members. I have not felt safe going on
that weekend getaway with my husband. The things that I need to purchase from
the grocery store are often unobtainable. The list of complaints is perpetual,
but we cannot allow them to become permanent. I realized today, as I looked
around my home, just how petty my complaints are. You see, I have the ability
to purchase food from the grocery store. I get to see my husband every single
day of my life. I get to take care of my mother and see my brother frequently.
I can text my girlfriends at any time and we never fail to pick up right where
we left off. My family has remained healthy thus far. We are alive. So why are
we insistent on criticizing the situation that we are in. We are all facing
this condition together as a community, yet we are acting alone. We are
standing in ceaseless judgement of one another. The truth is, there is not one
individual here that knows the proper way to handle this epidemic. We are doing
the best that we can. By fighting one's point of view on the subject is to
fight a phantom idea. The flip of the switch comes from within. The holiday
lights will not provide us with a positive attitude. Our positive attitudes
will light up the holidays. We have much to be thankful for this year, so pour
a peppermint martini, turn up that faithful Mariah Carey Christmas album, plug
in your attitude, and watch your house light up.
This is my new journey in blogging. As is already obvious in the title, I am a single mother of two of the most fabulous children that I know (and I don't say that because they are mine), they truly are great kids. I not only love my children, I actually LIKE the people that they are. I know that we all love our children deeply and those are the rules of the universe, but do we LIKE them? I started my journey into single motherhood about seven years ago. It seems that I stumbled into the journey while blaming the seven year itch of my lovely ex husband....but now...now it seems that I am stumbling into a seven year itch myself. Not the typical seven year itch where you look for attention from others, but the kind where you almost want to run from it. I used to be the most social of creatures, but in recent months, I seem to want to be a recluse. It's safer in that environment. My daughter is now 13, yes...stumbling into womanhood the same way that we all had to, "
Yes.
ReplyDeleteAnd please replace judgement (of ourselves and of others) with kindness.
This challenging year and every year.