Thanks, Praise, and Other Misused Words

Thanks, Praise, and Other Misused Words

It seems to me that the best recognition may be no recognition at all. It’s 2019 and it seems now, more than ever, that we are consumed with validation. It’s imperative to us that we be told that we have done an excellent job on a project. No matter how big, small, or vital the task, we look for praise at every turn. We aren’t fulfilled until we have gotten those magical words of affirmation. Of course, praise is always nice to hear, but the words, “great job” are being uttered far too often. They are spoken so much, in fact, that they have ceased to hold meaning. The workplace, our homes, sporting events, and schools are starting to suffer because of it. The workplace provides us with the ability to feed and take care of our families. Inside of that much expected paycheck lies the invisible words, “thank you” and “good job”. We are all guilty of wanting to be acknowledged for the work that we do at home. Whether we mow the yard, clean the house, do the laundry, or make dinner, we expect a “thank you”. While it is nice to feel appreciated, we also “signed up” for the life that we have made for ourselves. We prayed for the children that we have. As fathers and mothers, some things are simply, “our job”. When our children fail to do extremely well on something, maybe we shouldn’t tell them, “awesome job”, maybe we should teach them what they can work on to see themselves as better than before, to be as fast as they want, to make the grade that they can live with and feel good about, or to make friends that they can trust. Most important, maybe we should be teaching them that true affirmation can’t possibly come from someone else. The only approval that matters is our own. If the feeling of accomplishment that comes from within isn’t enough to motivate us, then no amount of praise from others will ever matter. It will never measure up to the importance of our own self-realization and living intentional lives. Sometimes more truly is more, but in the case of praise from others, less is more. Most of us have heard, after the loss of a grandparent or respected elder, “He or she lived a life of doing for others and accomplishing great things, and they never expected praise or a thank you in return.” That speaks volumes on how the times have changed. Of course, we should continue to say thank you and give praise where credit is due, but we shouldn’t let those words lose their meaning. If you are performing a good deed, doing a job, or excelling only to win recognition and a thank you from others, then you have already lost. A blue ribbon is a tastier dish when enjoyed alone, not among a crowd.

Kristen Hamilton